So it’s been a while since I’ve last blogged. I guess I have been too caught up in stuff….here and there, that I really didn’t make the time to sit down and release my thoughts and ideas. But I’m glad I am typing away at this moment because physically writing out what I’ve been thinking about allows me to gain a better sense of self awarement, rather than just thinking about what I need to do or need to change when I’m frantically driving home from work.. I get to come back and reflect what I have written, and at the same time reflect on what exact moods I was going through when jotting down this post.
Anyways.. school is slowing creeping around the corner. I am filled with both excitement and nervousness. I hope I’ll do well with school and be a good PA despite my issues with hyperhidrosis. I don’t want that to hold me down anymore. I recieved more information through UTMB via email about my orientation and white coat ceremony dates… ^_^. whoohoo. It’s really coming together… Although I wished I had accepted my other interviews that were out of state, I know in my heart that UTMB is right for me.. a lot of factors that I need to be realistic about, such as –> tuition, distance, rate of passing for PANCE, education, and length of program. UTMB has it all— but deep inside my adventurous side, I really wanted the chance to self explore in another state. hmm, oh wells. I can always travel, and who knows where my career will take me… I might just be spontaneous enough to close my eyes and randomly pick a place on the globe to move to. Wouldn’t that be exciting?? (ha.. if I actually did it.)
So I haven’t been taking pictures of my “food” because I don’t want to become too obsessive. There has been times where I am constantly counting calories in my head..adding..subtracting… guesstimating.. sigh. It felt like it briefly took over my daily routine and I don’t want to feel like that certain person who has ‘issues’. However… I have been working out a bit too much lately,. When I say lately, I mean.. for only the last 2 weeks.. lol. It’s becoming addicting where at first I was really proud of myself for my drive and motivation, But now after 10 days, it has became an obligation. I am not sure how to describe it but a good workout usually keeps me sane. However now, if I missed a workout, or if I felt that my body has been ‘lazy’ today, I get in a really grouchy mood and I put it on others too, because I think badly about myself..like I’m useless. Hmm.. so I guess this realization is the first step to accepting that it is okay to have a day of lounging around… and it is okay to do consider other positive activities like stretching and yoga as a ‘workout.’
🙂 I’ll be alright.
I just have alot of things I gotta do on my to-do list that I feel like a good workout is the only “me” time I have left for myself… but like I said, I shouldn’t beat myself up if I skip one or two a week… or three. x]